Embrace Vulnerability As YOUR Greatest Strength!

Born Vulnerable

What do you associate with vulnerability?

Perhaps it's weakness, fear, hurt or betrayal.

These are the deep-seated emotions people experience when they reveal aspects of themselves.

Let's be clear. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness and can be your greatest strength.

"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage" 

- affirms research professor and author Brené Brown in Rising Strong.

Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. Those who protect themselves to avoid getting hurt, fail to appreciate intimacy and close relationships.

Everyone is vulnerable, no matter how much they try to avoid it. We are born vulnerable and stay that way for our entire childhood. Our relationship with vulnerability is something we are acquainted with, yet abandon as we merge into adulthood.

Your association with vulnerability requires a shift in awareness in order to strengthen your emotional well-being.

It is no use erecting barricades around you while hoping at the same time others will see the blossoming flower within.

The wall you construct prevents your true nature from being known to others.

It was Rumi who said: 

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

You must accept your vulnerability if you wish to live a wholesome life. 

Even the smallest act of letting down your guard is a commitment to your personal growth.

"When we experience a great loss or hurt that feels like 'broken heartedness', we now realize that our heart is not broken. It's actually the heart's protective shell of defences breaking open to allow us to feel all emotions fully," 

- writes author Loch Kelly in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness.

Your Fractured Parts

Vulnerability is an act of courage because you merge with your authentic self, instead of hiding behind a facade to appease others.

It is within the unknown where your greatest potential lies. Human nature is imperfect, yet the paradox is that we are whole within that sphere of imperfection.

To embrace vulnerability as your greatest strength, you'll need to become aware of your pain points. Retaliation leads to suffering, since you are likely to defend your pain like a wounded animal.

Neuropsychologist Mario Martinez writes in his book: The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success, 

"The wound you choose in order to interpret your pain becomes a shield of protection against forgiving, because releasing your grudge means being vulnerable again"

Vulnerability involves healing your fractured parts by merging with the wholeness of your being.

Consider it akin to a jigsaw puzzle strewn across the floor. Some might say the puzzle is incomplete given the pieces are lying on the floor. However, by gathering them together you create the entire picture once more.

That is the heart of your life story. You have disowned your fractured parts, instead of trying to piece them together.

You are a masterpiece; a Rembrandt replete with perfection. Yet, you focus on your brokenness in the same way as a cracked oil painting when exposed to the elements.

The painting is no less beautiful because of its flaws. It is upon examining it up close you recognise the defects, while ignoring the complete picture.

"Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging," affirms Brené Brown.

Heal the Pain

To heal your pain requires undertaking a process of self-examination. You must become curious as to why you react when your pain buttons are triggered.

Every person has pain thresholds. If left unchecked, they become inflamed and dominate your emotional landscape, not to mention your physical health.

The moment you heal the pain, you reintegrate it into the wholeness of your being.

"Make your heart as vast as space, so big that nothing can harm it. When our hearts are that wide, it is as if the judgments are ripples on water, flowing away and leaving no trace. This is what vulnerability makes possible. It allows the natural strength of the heart to emerge" 

writes author Mark Coleman in Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Your Inner Critic.

Suffering ensues when you focus on your sorrow, instead of appreciating the beauty and richness of your complete self.

It is as though you are looking through a magnifying glass on your shattered parts. You give them more attention than they deserve, so others are made aware of your weaknesses too.

Your shadows are one aspect of your character. When healed, you come to realise the completeness of your being.

Therefore, become a student of vulnerability by taking small risks. This act of self-renewal shines a light on your fractured parts, and is brought to your awareness and seen for what they are; a smokescreen.

"This feeling of rawness is key to working with vulnerability. They often feel like one and the same thing. The challenge is to find a way to be comfortable feeling the innate vulnerability of being human. If we can hold our vulnerability with a loving attention, the painful feelings can unfold and slowly move through us" 

- affirms author Mark Coleman once more.

Similarly, be wary of the ego and its aversion to being vulnerable. The ego likes to protect its image and vulnerability is a crack in its armour.

It signifies weakness and will do everything to defend itself.

Your greatest triumph will arise when you lean in to your vulnerabilities with openness and compassion.

There is nothing to defend nor protect, for the egoic voice has merely taken command and insisted on protecting you from getting hurt.

I wish to leave you with a passage from Brené Brown's book Rising Strong in which she writes: 

"I was reminded that shame is a liar and a story-stealer. I have to trust myself and the people I care about more than the gremlins, even if that means risking being hurt"

The gremlins she speaks of is the small self preventing your magnificence being known.

 Trust your heart's wisdom and its real essence, not the voice in your head.

It is only then you will appreciate how vulnerability is a commanding act of strength and courage.

by Tony Fahkry: source

Video: Embrace Your Vulnerability: Brené Brown

"Have Courage To Fully Embrace Your Vulnerability - 

- what makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful!

What Makes You Feel Vulnerable? - 

- do you 'numb' your vulnerability using behaviours 

that are not good for you? 

e.g. self medicate, over eat etc?

Blame is described as:

A Way to Discharge Pain & Discomfort

Do You 'Perfect' - try for perfection to make things ok?

Do You Pretend; pretend that your behaviours don't have an impact on others?

Let Yourself Be Seen.

Love With Your Whole Heart - Courage!

Practise Gratitude & Joy! 

Be Thankful For What you Have 

You Are Enough."

Your A - Z Depression Help

A to Z of Depression

A. Anybody can suffer from depression. Depression knows no boundaries, has no favourites.

B. Books about depression abound...

C. Chemicals are what depression is about.

D. Depression is about not wanting to get up in the morning, about not being able to sleep at night, about not wanting to do things you previously enjoyed doing.

E. Eating patterns often change for people suffering from depression

F. Fatigue is one of the biggest complaints we hear from people talking about depression

G. Getting physical is a great help if you want to do something about depression. Raising your heart rate increases the amount of blood pumped around your body... so your lungs will work harder... your body's level of oxygen will be increased. Oxygen-rich blood circulates around your body and of course to your brain. You will feel better!

H. Help is available for all those who need it. For more about depression check out your local directories or internet.

I. Intangible reasons - business failures, relationship difficulties, death of a loved ones - are often a trigger for depression.

J. Juggling family and work commitments can sometimes be overwhelming so if you are going to do something about depression, you will need to get support from people who know you.

K. Keeping safe is very important. If you have thoughts of self-harm or suicide, ask for help - and keep asking until you find it.

L. Learn what triggers your depression. By doing this you will be able to create strategies to cope.

M. Memory loss and Alzheimer's are thought to be related to depression.

N. Neurotransmitters in the brain help nerve cells communicate. Some of these neurotransmitters are serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. These substances can change and get out of balance. Understanding that will help you to learn more about depression.

O. Ownership of your depression is empowering. Figure out what makes it tick - this will help you to put strategies in place to deal with it.

P. Personify your depression. Winston Churchill coined the phrase 'Black Dog' to personify the terrible bouts of depression which plagued him throughout his life.

Q. Question your medical advisers about what you could be doing to help. Ask about medication, but also ask about exercise and nutrition. All these things are invaluable as you put together as much information as you can about how your body works and, also, about depression.

R. Rest is important. Relax. Meditate. Pick up a guitar. Go for a walk. Do something that you enjoyed before you became depressed. Now isn't the time to try something new. Go back to what you enjoyed before you became depressed.

S. Safety is of utmost importance. If you can, find someone you feel safe to talk to about depression. Alcohol and drugs become high risk factors for those suffering from depression, particularly adolescents. Find a place where it is safe to go, and people who are safe to be with.

T. Traditional treatment (medication) should be discussed with your doctor. There are also alternative treatments available - but check with your doctor first. Treating depression can be complex. No-one knows all there is to know about depression. Leave it to the experts. But look yourself at what 'triggers' your depression. If you have personified it - for example, if it is your 'black dog' - find out what feeds it and what starves it.

U. Understanding all there is to know about depression would take a lifetime. Don't look that far into the future. Take one day at a time.

V. Vitamins are good! A healthy diet is good for all sorts of things, including depression. Eat well - healthy minds go hand in hand with healthy bodies.

W. Weather can cause depression!!! SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) can be effectively treated with exposure to sunlight which increases serotonin levels.

X. Think of things that made you excited before you were depressed. Recreate some of that excitement - get the endorphins flowing.

Y. You are not alone. It is widely agreed that by 2020 depression will be the second major illness in the world. People from all ages, races, genders and socio-economic background are affected by depression. The more you understand about depression, the better placed you will be to deal with it if it happens to you, or someone you love.

Z. ZZZZ... get regular sleep, get regular exercise, eat healthy food...

by Glenda M Martin: source

Video: Morning Routine To Reduce Your Anxiety

Morning Routine To Reduce Your Anxiety

Wake up earlier.. 

Implement a strong morning routine..

1. Hydrate with a magnesium supplement 😊

2. Make your bed 😊

3. Take a long warm shower 😊

4. Eat a healthy breakfast including oats, protein & omega 3 oil 😊

5. Meditate in your own way 😊

6. Take a long walk & practice mindfulness/gratitude  😊

Your Stress Free Easter Weekend!

Easter weekend holiday is upon us: are you excited? 

Or, are you a wee bit stressed?

With the exception of those who still believe in the Easter bunny, most people seem to err on the side of 'feeling stressed' around the holidays. 

Small talk about the weather is replaced with -  "Are you ready for the holidays!?"

So what does 'being ready' really mean? Does it mean preparing brilliant entertaining 'Easter egg hunt', getting that perfect 'egg' for the 'hard to buy' people on your list, baking all 12 family favourite dishes, preparing the perfect meal and also sticking to your workout and diet regime?

I think this time of year is wonderful, but if you fall into the holiday trap of trying to do everything for everyone, it can also be incredibly stressful. If you love doing all the Easter-y activities, and feel like it's very manageable, then go ahead and enjoy it. 

However, if you feel overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, know that you don't have to do it all. 

Do this simple exercise to make your holiday to-do list more manageable and give yourself permission to relax a little.

The exercise is called a brain dump. This version is geared toward the holidays, but you can do it anytime of the year. I do, and it's wonderful! 

Here's how it goes:

1.

Write a list of all the tasks and activities you need to do around the holidays. Separate the tasks into a 'daily list' (things you do daily such as preparing meals, work, spending time with family, commuting, workouts, etc.). Create a weekly list (things you do 1-2 times per week) and a 'one-off' list (things you will likely only need to do only a few times, such as holiday shopping, writing Easter cards, preparing holiday meals, decorating, organising Easter Egg Hunts, baking, etc.).

2. Allot an amount of time to each activity.

3. Now you're ready for the fun part. 

Place a STAR beside all the tasks that are important to you, that you enjoy doing. Be honest- do you really have to do everything on your list? Do you really need to bake 12 different kinds of food? Will your family really suffer? 

If you really want to attend all the Easter activities you've been invited to, then great! 

But if you really don't want to go to a few, it's not 'star-worthy.'

4. Now ask, can you 'simplify any of the starred activities? If you need to spend an entire day preparing a holiday meal (and don't truly enjoy it), are there ways to simplify the task? Can you get help? Block time in your calendar to do the star-worthy activities. 

5. For everything that is not starred, you get to delegate or dump the task. Again, be honest. If you don't need to do something (for example, someone else is capable of doing the task), delegate it. No one to delegate it to? Then dump it.

This holiday season, I hope you can enjoy the time spent with loved ones rather than worrying about how you are going to tackle your 'to-do' list. 

"Focus on the things you like to do, and have a 

relaxing, stress-free holiday season"

by Tanja M Shaw: source

Video: Your Basic Guided Meditation To Mindfulness

7 minutes to mindfulness to help with your...

...anxiety and depression.

Buddhist meditation:

Follow your breath; 

Allow thoughts to come and go.

Bring your awareness back to your breath.

Open yourself up to a... 

deeper appreciation of this moment.

Meditation For Overcoming Your Social Anxiety

Meditation Helps Social Anxiety

Anxiety and stress have a tendency to be truly difficult to deal with and they can put a lot of pressure on the mind. 

Upon experiencing the severity of the problem that stress and anxiety can cause, it is no surprise that so many will look towards means of alleviating the problem. 

However, the steps people will take to deal with such issues are often worse than the problem itself. Or, in some cases, such steps can outright compound the problem. Such is the case with using prescription pills to treat anxiety. These pills may provide a temporary calmness but they never get to the root cause of the issues that create anxiety. Additionally, prescription pills possess the potential to harm the internal organs which is certainly not something anyone would wish to deal with.

Thankfully, as more and more people are becoming aware of the dangers associated with modern anti-anxiety drugs, people are also becoming more aware of older, traditional methods known for their ability to reverse many of the problems associated with high anxiety. 

One such method is the concept of meditation.

Meditation sometimes gets a proverbial bad rap as well. This is because it has a tendency to be lumped in with a number of less than helpful "New Age" concepts that some may find more odd than helpful. 

However, meditation is certainly not as obtuse as many think. It is simply a form of exercise that works on strengthening the mind as opposed to the physical body. Often, with a little practice and dogged determination, it is not as tough as some assume to reap huge benefits from meditation sessions. On a basic level, meditation involves calming oneself, emptying the mind, and allowing negative and stressful thoughts to exit. 

Meditation can be performed seated, lying down, or even walking. 

The key with all forms of meditation is that the mind empties itself out and there is no attempt to think about those things which can make a person anxious or upset. 

For those that cannot keep their mind emptied, it may be best to meditate on a Zen koan which is a riddle with no particular answer. What is the purpose of these riddles? 

They are intended to help you learn about yourself and reach into your inner thoughts. 

And, of course, they keep your mind occupied which prevents it from dealing with hidden stress and anxiety.

Over time, the effects of meditation begin to reveal themselves and they are often quite positive. 

The mind will start to be less cluttered and the psychic noise and running thoughts that are at the root of all anxiety will slowly calm down and disappear.

This does not mean the serious problems related to the anxiety condition will go away. However, the ability to deal with such problems may very well be improved since the mind will not be in a position where it is at the mercy of such aggravation. 

Best of all, meditation can take place in durations as small as ten minutes and still have positive effects. 

That is why it remains so highly recommended for this in need of a helpful treatment method.

Overcoming anxiety without getting to the core of reducing stress in your life is an almost impossible task. 

If you want to experience anxiety relief naturally you will need to take control of all of the things in your life that are causing you stress and anxiety.

by David McDonough: source

Video: Modern Info' Overload: Anxiety & Depression: Ruby Wax

Ruby Wax on mental illness.. 

and how our.. 

'modern day information overload' 

(e.g. social media) is causing this. 

Ruby says how meeting Mark Williams; teacher of mindfulness cognitive therapy 

helped her on her path to understanding that 

meditation / mindfulness can calm the amigdala cerebral part of the brain (fight or flight response) into a more grounded state, which then helps one in everyday living.  

3 'R's' Technique Helping Social Media Depression

3 R'S Technique

Helping You WIth

Social Media Anxiety & Depression

There can be no question that Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, 

and any number of other social networking sites come with benefits.

With countless users worldwide, and more joining daily, 

it's clear social media is a force to be reckoned with.

But are you getting more than you bargained for?

Psychologists now recognize that for some users, the world of social media comes with dangers.

Symptoms ranging from the relatively 

minor (mild disappointment) to the most serious 

(thoughtsof suicide) are widespread enough to net a new diagnosis: 

Facebook Depression

How do you feel when you log in to your favorite social networking site? 
What do you get from it? 
Could you be at risk for depression...
...or feeling its effects already?

The 3Rs technique is a great way to identify some of the side-effects that come with social media usage and, 
more importantly, begin to make changes if your mental and physical wellness are suffering. 
Grab a piece of paper and pen, and we'll walk through the steps together:

1. Recognise 
2. Reframe
3. Reclaim

1. RECOGNISE what's going on.

First, assess what happens to you when you log in to your favorite social networking site.

• Do you have feelings of disquiet, or a vague sense that something is wrong, the moment you view your account?
• Do you turn on the computer with a feeling of anticipation, but quickly feel defeat take its place when you check your connection stats?
• Do you feel happy for your connections when you see a lot is going on in their lives, or do you feel disappointment because it didn't happen to you?
• Do you worry you might be missing something when you're not online?
• Do you compare your stats with those of other users? If so, do the numbers induce feelings of jealousy, discontent, or superiority? 
• Do these feelings subside after you've left the site, or do they color your offline world?

2. REFRAME your thoughts and actions.

It will take a change in mindset to get past the negative effects of too much social networking. 
Depression of any kind doesn't go away just because you're aware of it. 



You must take action by first reframing your negative responses. 

For example:

"My numbers are small, and my network isn't growing."

vs.

"I can thoroughly trust every one of my genuine connections."

"No one has answered my last five posts."

vs.

"I can reach out by answering five other people's posts today."

"I'm lonely."

vs.

"I can call my tennis partner and make a date."

"My status as a professional can be measured by others' responses, or lack thereof."

vs.

"I can be proud of the image I created for myself/my business without the help of social media."

"This tension headache won't go away."

vs.

"I can work away from the computer for the next hour."

"Everyone ELSE's life seems to be constant excitement."

vs.

"I can plan a live event or outing with my friends or colleagues."

Seize those negatives, and identify a way to move them to your advantage by taking control and responsibility. In doing so, you build a new habit of more healthful thinking and acting.

3. RECLAIM your health and wellness.

Changing your mindset is an important step, 
...but it isn't the last one. 
Make good on those new, positively re-framed messages: 
Follow up with action.

When it comes to social media, that action may need to take place offline. 
You won't cure yourself of depression, stress, or anxiety by spending more time with social networking. 
Instead, treat online networking like any other business or personal task: 
Make an appointment for it. 
Reserve a place in your schedule for social media, and when it's not that time, give your full attention to all the other priorities in your world. 
Take all those hours and mental energy you've been spending on your online profile, and use them instead to care for and embrace your true self.

One more status update, one more profile update, one more follower...none of that is worth jeopardizing your health and wellness. 
Because remember, no one lives or dies by Facebook stats.

 "YOU - the person,

are worth far more than the sum of your stats"

by Roberta Mittman: source